Singer and chef Kelis and ex-husband Nas recently settled a tense and public custody battle. The former Star Trak Records artist conducted one of her first interviews in nearly a decade and made some powerful claims against her former marital partner of five years.

Kelis describes her time with Nas as filled with use of alcohol and marijuana, as well as defined by lavish spending. “We had really intense highs and really intense lows. It was never normal. An intense high would be when money was rolling in. We were young. But I was 22 when I met him. I was a baby. We were drinking too much, smoking too much, spending too much. I mean, balling out of control. It was all just too much. We lived hard. So when that comes down, it goes really low. Like, as low as possible.”

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The “Milkshake” star said to Hollywood Unlocked‘s Jason Lee, “[There was] a lot of mental and physical abuse, and it got to the point where if I wasn’t pregnant, I might have stayed with him.” At the time, Kelis says she was experiencing strong doubts

“I didn’t file for divorce because of cheating,” Kelis says, admitting that her partner was unfaithful. “He had been cheating for two years, and I knew that. It was because on top of all the other stuff; then you’re gonna cheat? Okay. This is too much. Then it was really toxic and I was pregnant, so at seven months pregnant I was terrified. I cannot bring a person into this. This is a frickin’ mess, and I can’t control this. I gotta get out.”

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The couple parted ways in 2009, ahead of a 2010 divorce. Kelis tells Hollywood Unlocked that another public celebrity abuse scandal played a factor. “When the Rihanna and Chris Brown pictures came out, I thought about coming out because I also had bruises all over my body. But I didn’t say anything because I’m private,” Kelis tells Lee. “But seeing her the way she looked and then looking at myself … I felt embarrassed.” She also states, “I remember so clearly when the pictures came out with that whole thing that happened with [Rihanna] and Chris Brown. The only way I can describe it was like double-dutch. Do I jump in? Do I say it? I had bruises all over my body at the time. That day I remember being in Atlanta, sitting in the kitchen…I wasn’t ready to walk.” Notably, Nas and Chris Brown have collaborated before and since his 2009 incident attacking Rihanna.

In the interview, Kelis suggests that the abuse was related to alcohol. “I have never painted myself as a saint. Did he hit me? [Yes]. Did I hit him back? [Yes]. He would black out. He would drink too much. He drank way too much. He will never admit it.”

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After their separation, the singer says that Nas foreclosed on the home she and the couple’s son was living in. After she confronted the rapper, he allegedly told his estranged wife, “go f*ck yourself.”