In a story far too bizarre to be fiction, DMX has been chosen to square off against George Zimmerman in a 3-round “boxing” match. According to TMZ, however, DMX plans to go more UFC than WBA: “DMX promised to massacre Zimmerman in the ring if he got the chance. To be exact, he said, ‘I am going to beat the living f**k out him … I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I f**k him right up.’ He then said he’d literally piss on George’s face.”

Of all artists that could have been chosen to face Zimmerman, few have a catalog of titles more applicable to the likely beating that is going to ensue. Take a look below and let us know which you think best describes the forthcoming debacle.

Here are the DMX titles:

1. It’s Dark and Hell is Hot
2. Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood
3. …And Then There Was X
4. The Great Depression
5. Grand Champ
6. Year of the Dog…Again
7. Undisputed