Remy Ma Gets Real About Her Failed Pregnancy & Hopes For Helping Women (Video)
Earlier this year, millions of women took part in the Women’s March, with cities across the country showing out in droves to protest rampant misogyny in American politics. From income disparities to a lack of reproductive rights, women continue to struggle reaching the legal and social ranks given freely to men, despite it being 2017 and a country founded on “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” As always, pregnancy is a major component of a woman’s identity, whether she chooses to be a mother or not. However, as is evidenced by the assault on women’s rights emanating from the conservative branches of government in this country (and around the world), there remains a barrier for women when it comes to being able to do what we want with our bodies. Abortion is a dirty word in many sectors of public life here, and subjects like miscarriage and failed pregnancy are still taboo.
That’s what made Remy Ma’s decision to very publicly share her ectopic pregnancy (and resultant miscarriage) on Love & Hip-Hop so brave. After becoming pregnant with her husband Papoose, the Grammy-nominated rapper was unable to carry the fetus to term because of the medical condition in which the fertilized egg develops not in the uterus, but in the Fallopian tube. Around 20 out of 10,000 American women suffer from ectopic pregnancies, and very rarely do women get the opportunity to find support in such an instance, let alone access to one of the most successful reality shows on television. Remy Ma and Papoose, who do not have any children, opted to allow a camera crew in the hospital immediately following the medical procedure in which Remy lost her fetus and in so doing, the couple gave voice not only to women with ectopic pregnancy experience, but also those who’ve lost pregnancies to miscarriages of all kinds.
Earlier today (February 15), Remy Ma and Fat Joe were guests on The Breakfast Club, where the duo touched on all things music. With a new album from the duo arriving later this week, the “All The Way Up” rappers had plenty to discuss, including Sunday’s Grammy Awards. However, the interview’s boldest moment came when Charlamagne asked Remy to comment on the traumatic experience she and her husband recently endured. At the 12:46 mark, the host said “y’all revealed a lot on Love & Hip Hop with the miscarriage thing,” which prompted Remy to go in depth about how the ectopic pregnancy made her feel, and how it is inspiring her to become involved in policy changes for women’s healthcare.
“I feel like, with a lot of women, you’re embarrassed, you’re ashamed. You feel like it’s your fault. And it’s something you just don’t want to talk about,” the Bronx rapper begins. “When I was going through it, I was really depressed. And [Papoose was] like ‘babe, you think you’re the only woman in this world going through this?’ That made something click in me. I was like, you know what, maybe I should put it out there. Because where are these people? No one talks about it.” She goes on to say that almost immediately upon revealing her very personal experience, she felt an outpouring of support. “When I tell you, I got like 1.5 million views on Instagram, and probably 30,000 comments. What was so crazy about it was when I spoke to the doctor – ’cause it really wasn’t a miscarriage; it was what’s called an ectopic pregnancy, where the fetus is growing inside of your Fallopian tube – they was like ‘it’s no problem, your ovaries are fine, your eggs is fine.’ So I’m like ‘OK, no problem.'” At the time, she says, there was nothing to suggest that any problem was looming, and her in vitro fertilization seemed to be working according to plan – albeit at an extremely high cost.
“It cost a minimum of 12, 15 grand [to do in vitro],” she explains. Admitting that money was not a factor for her, she shares that she began thinking about all the women who desperately want children and simply can’t have them because they can’t afford the treatments. “I didn’t realize to ask how many women who have this issue, they don’t have that money. Insurance will cover gastric bypass if you wanna be skinny, but it won’t cover people who wanna have children. So most women who this happens to, they don’t have the funds. So they have to go through their whole lives knowing that they’re never gonna have children,” she says. “There’s a possibility that it’s not gonna work the first time, so you gotta have [the money to afford multiple attempts]. So when I started learning that, I wanted to make people aware.” It’s then that she begins to detail her hopes for progress in women’s healthcare, not only for medical cost coverage for fertility treatments, but also in emotional support for women dealing with the stress of pregnancy. “I wanna help these people,” she says. “It’s really a bad situation when you think about it. And it’s uncomfortable talking about it sometimes. Sometimes it’s sad and overwhelming. Like, I was at the Grammys the other day and Beyoncé does her performance and she’s pregnant and I’m sitting there like ‘why do I wanna just cry right now?’ I feel like it’s a lot of women that I’ll be able to help out there. And who knows, maybe we’ll be able to pass something one day where health insurance will cover it, or [I will] start a fund for women who are suffering from this situation. Having children is a beautiful thing. There’s so many people out here who’s having abortions or giving their kids away or not taking care of their kids. And it’s people out here that really want to have children, and they cant.”
Fat Joe & Remy Ma’s new album, Plato O Plomo, drops Friday (February 17).