Lil Wayne Confirms That When He Shot Himself It Was Really A Suicide Attempt (Audio)

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Last Friday (September 28), Lil Wayne released his twelfth solo album, Tha Carter V. The Young Money LP arrives more than three years since Weezy F. Baby had a full-length LP, and more than five calendars since the New Orleans, Louisiana native put one of his albums on a CD or vinyl.

Throughout the weekend, legions of fans dove into C5‘s 23 songs, including collaborations with Kendrick Lamar, Nicki Minaj, Snoop Dogg, Travis Scott, and XXXTentacion. However, in the sprawling offering, the most personal and gripping moment comes from Dwayne Carter, Jr. alone.

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“Let It All Work Out” is the song that closes Tha Carter V. The cut samples Sampha’s “Indecision,” and is produced by Jordan, Myles William, and Reefa (The Game’s “It’s Okay (One Blood)”). On the song, Wayne unpacks his suicidal past with vivid imagery.

The first verse sees Wayne describes using uppers and sipping lean during a period during the financial and legal battles. “I fear God, never fear men / Give back, never give in / Beat odds, never beat women / Keep an open mind, let ’em peek in it / Reach highs, never reach limits,” he spits in the second verse, which begins by addressing his mother, and how she warned that there would be days like this. Ms. Cita  appears on the album’s intro.

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The third verse is where Wayne recounts a suicide attempt. “Tunechi, you a monster / Looked in the mirror, but you wasn’t there, I couldn’t find ya / I’m lookin’ for that big, old smile, full of diamonds / Instead, I found this letter you ain’t finished writin’ / It read, ‘I’m sorry for even apologizing’ / I tried, compromising and went kamikaze / I found my mama’s pistol where she always hide it / I cry, put it to my head and thought about it / Nobody was home to stop me, so I called my auntie / Hung up, then put the gun up to my heart and pondered / Too much was on my conscience to be smart about it / Too torn apart about it, I aim where my heart was pounding / I shot it, and I woke up with blood all around me / It’s mine, I didn’t die, but as I was dying / God came to my side, and we talked about it / He sold me another life, and he made a prophet.

Lil Wayne has previously admitted that he shot himself at the age of 12. However, this is the first time he clarified that the incident was an attempted suicide. More than a decade ago, Weezy told MTV’s Chris Connelly years ago, “I was full of weed. Trippin’, young, playin’ with [a gun]. I didn’t know that when you take the clip out the gun, if you cocked it, one [bullet] is already in the chamber. I didn’t know it had been cocked. So I’m just playin’ [and shot myself]. That was crazy.” The MTV News correspondent asked Wayne where the bullet struck him. “In the chest,” Wayne replied as he pointed to a wound. “It came out through the back. So I’m a soulja’. That’s why I know that if I survive that, and I’m surviving everything that’s gone on around me and went on around me, I was put here for a reason.” One YouTube user, “BlackySpeakz,” points out that Wayne confirmed a suicide attempt briefly on Solange’s “Mad” in 2016. “Are you mad ’cause the judge ain’t give me more time? / And when I attempted suicide, I didn’t die / I remember how mad I was on that day / Man, you gotta let it go before it get up in the way Let it go, let it go,” Wayne rapped.

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The YM founder has been honest about mental health and self-medication throughout his career, especially since the mid-2000s. Rap peers such as Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls have addressed suicide on past records. Geto Boys member Bushwick Bill attempted to shoot himself, causing a permanent eye injury. After reportedly being declared dead for three hours, Bill’s exit from the 1991 incident became the album cover for the Houston, Texas group’s We Can’t Be Stopped release. Aside from some ad-libs between Wayne and Sampha, these are the last words on Tha Carter V. It is a powerful revelation at a time when Dr. Carter’s career appears to be in a state of rebirth.